now thats fun
by jeders1200
Summary: Rj meets his old friend, what would the family think of him p.s this story will have some sad moments.
1. i remember you

it was late afternoon, everybody was a sleep at the tv area except for Rj, rj is sitting on a branch looking out towards the houses thinking about being with his new family but he was too tired to think so he climbed down the tree and headed towards the tv area but he heard a rustling noise coming from the hedge, rj quickly turned towards the hedge then the noise stop he then think nothing about it so turned back towards the tv area and carryed on walking then the rustling noise started and stopped again, rj then stop and looked at the hedge with a worried face and whispered.

Rj:"hello".

no response.

so rj slowly tip toad towards the hedge and whispered trying not to wake his new family up.

Rj:"is anyone there".

there was a voice coming from the other side of the hedge.

unknown:"rj is that you".

Rj was confused how he or she knows his name then rj whispered.

Rj:"who is this".

slowly a male possum walked out of the hedge, He is 4 inches taller and skinnier than Ozzie he held a golf bag (bigger then rjs), he had a nice calm voice (just like snoop doggs).

Rj was surprised, his mouth wide open with his hands over his mouth then he whispered.

Rj:"john".

John:"yes rj, its me".

Rj quickly ran up to john and gave him a great big hug whilst saying.

Rj:"oh my god oh my god oh my god, I havent seen you since i was 11 years old".

Rj is trying his best to keep his noise down.

John:"easy easy rj, please can you let go now".

Rj:"oh sorry man i just havent seen you for so long".

John:"i know, can i just ask you a question".

Rj:"yer sure, you can ask my anything you want".

John:"have you got any food, im starving".

Rj:"yes we have some, follow me".

rj started to walk towards the food supplies, got some twinkles, sbuddys and some cookies he took them back to john.

Rj:"there you go john".

John:"thanks rj".

Rj:"your welcome".

then silence both john and rj sat there eating twinkles and sbuddys and cookies.  
five minute have passed the john remembered something.

John:"oh rj i got something for you".

Rj:"what is it john".

John grabbed his golf bag and pulled out what looks like a cig(short for cigarette) and a lighter, turns to rj then asks.

John:"do you know what this is".

Rj:"i have seen humans have them but i dont know what it does".

John:"well do you want to start smoking".

Rj:"yer sure".

Rj tooked the cig and lighter then ask.

Rj:"how do i do this".

John:"first put the cig in your mouth, light the lighter then put the flame on the end of cig then at same time inhale".

Rj did as John explained, he put the cig in his mouth, light the lighter, put the flame on the end of the cigarette and inhale then straight away he started to coughs out loude.

John:"wow take it easy rj, take your time".

rj took his time then realized the taste wasnt the same then a normal cig so he ask john.

Rj:"john whats in this cig, doesn't taste the same".

John:"its weed man and its called a joint".

Rj:"oh".

Rj know streight away what it is so he took couple more drags then started to feel more tired and hungry so gave the joint back to John then went to the log to have some more food because hes got the munch on then he went to the tv area to go to sleep.

Back with John, he sat there with a joint in his hand thinking about where to sleep then he saw a near by tree so he stumbled towards the tree, sits down then fell a sleep.


	2. meeting the family

The next day, john is the first one to wake up, he stood up and cracked his back then he walked over to the log to get some breakfast, these nothing he liked so he went towards the nearest tree climbed up it and sat on a branch, he pulled his bag onto his lap, pulled out a joint and sparked it up, 10 minutes after he finished his joint he was just about to climb down when saw another possum (Ozzie), then shouted.

John:"HELLO".

Ozzie just played dead on the spot, john just giggled a little, john is now at the bottom of the tree and started to walk towards Ozzie, when john got near Ozzie he put his hand out for helping up and said.

John:"sorry for scaring you, my name's John, whats your name"

Ozzie opened his eyes, looked at john then got the help up and replied.

Ozzie:"Im Ozzie"

Thats when Rj came out and saw John and Ozzie, Rj went over to where they are and said.

Rj:"Hi John, Hi Ozzie so take it you both just met".

both of them nodded.

Rj:"alright then".

Ozzie then realized Rj already known john then asks.

Ozzie:"didn't know you both already know each other".

Rj:"yes, i've known john when i was 11 years old but then we went are own ways after 2 years of knowing him".

Ozzie:"ohh, how old are you now".

Rj:"im 24 ".(in human years)

Ozzie:"that means you both haven't seen each other for 11 years then".

John:"that's right".

After 5 minutes of chatting, Heather came out to find out whats all this talking is about when she notice a random possum with her dad and Rj so she came over and joyfully said.

Heather:"Hi dad, Hi rj, who's this".

John looked at Heather and thought how cute she looked.

John:"I'm John and you are".

Heather:"Im heather, so you met my dad and Rj".

John:"yes i met your dad and i known Rj when he was 11 years old".

Heather:"oh really didn't know you already known Rj".

John:"yep, one question for you heather".

Heather:"you can ask me as much questions as you want john".

John:"ok, do you get your good looks from your dad".

Heather:"yes, why do you ask".

John:"just that your so cute".

Heather blushed and looked away, Ozzie just smiled sweetly for the compliment John had said about him but he started to get a disgusted felling in his stomech.

Rj:"soo, John have you ever seen a tv before.

John:"yes ive seen a tv before, I steal food from the humans and seen them".

Rj:"oh really".

John:"yes i do".

Stella heard the talking outside so she got up and see whos outside, when she got out she saw Rj, Ozzie, Heather and a nice looking possum (john) so she came and walked towards them,when she got there, she started to talk.

Stella:"hello, who's this"

John:"Im John, whats your name"

Stella:"Im Stella, So John have you got any relatives.

John went in flash back mode.

...in flash back...

Cara:"honey, dinners ready" (Johns mother).

John:"ok mom" (age 5).

John had finished playing with his toys and went to his mother for dinner, he asks.

John:"mom, whats for dinner".

Cara:"Its your favourite".

John jumping up and down saying "yay".

Cara brought out mash potato, beans and micawave chips, as soon as cara put Johns food infront of him he ate the hole lot in secounds.

When John finished his food he went off and played more of his toys.

David (Johns father) came down from the tree where he was napping, then went up to cara whilst looking at John and askes.

David:"look at him, he is so cute when he plays with his toys"

Cera:"i know, Dave do you think im" the she looked down at her belly and rubs it, then looked back at Dave "pregnant".

David was a bit surprised of what he just hard.

David:"yes, i think so".

Then when he said that, he hard something within the trees, he qurikly turned towards to the sound ans saw two badgers, one of them had a scar just under his right eye, and the other one had two scars on his left cheek, when the two badgers spotted David and cera thay both went over and started to beat up Dave, he shouted to cara.

Dave:"CaRA TAKE JOHN TO A SAFE PLACE".

Cara did as he said, she went over to John picked him up and tooked him to a safe place but half way of taking John she hard a gun shot, she froze on the spot and turned around, she spooted the two badgers chasing after her so she started to run but the badgers cought her up and rugby tackaled her, before thay did anything else she shouted.

Cera:"JOHN RUN".

John did as she said and started to run, after 1 hour of running he stopped and turned around, his mum and dad are knowere in site so he hid in a gap at a bottom af the tree and waited, He eaited and waited and waited but his perants did'nt come, John wonders if his perants will find him.

...out of flashback mode...

John just looked at Stella with a sad look on his face and said.

John:" two badgers killed my perants when i was 5".

John burst out in tears and fell on his knees, Ozzie, Rj, Heather and Stella felt really sorry for Johns loss, Stella said.

Stella"im so sorry, would you like a hug John".

John just nodded and hugged Stella, After 3 minutes of hugging John looked at Rj and asks.

John:"Rj, can i have a privet talk to you please"

Rj:"yes"

John took Rjs hand lead him deep in the forest, when they have got far away enough from the log they stopped, John turned to Rj and asks.

John:"im sorry for bursting out crying just but i forgotten about my perants until Stella mentioned them".whilst tears are rolling down his face

Rj:"John".

John:"Yes Rj".

Rj:"I think a joint will help".

John looked at Rj and said.

John:"Yes it will, wheres my bag".

Rj:"here".

Rj gave John his bag, John took the bag from Rj and took out a joint and a lit it, he took a couple of drags and offering the joint to Rj, Rj nodded and tooked the joint from John and took a drag, Rj notice that this joint is stonger than the first one he had tryed so he asks.

Rj:" John, Does this one have more weed in it" (whilst coughing).

John:"Yes, its a blunt".

Rj:"ok, whats a blunt".

John:"its like a joint but its only got pure weed in it".

Rj:"oohh

Rj took another drag and gave the blunt back to John.

Rj:"what do you think of Stella, Ozzie and Heather then".

John:"I think Ozzie is a bit jumpy for a start, Heather shes very cute and Stella shes hot".

Rj:"i feel the same way about Heather and Stella".

John:"do you".

Rj:"yep, im hungry how about you John".

John:"lets get something to eat".

back at the log Heather, Ozzie and Stella was at the tv area chatting to each other.

Ozzie:"Heather what do you think of John".

Heather:"I think John is a good looking guy".

Ozzie:"oh really, how about you Stella".

Stella:"I go with Heather, how about you"

Ozzie:"i think that he is nice". he lied

Heather:"hay look".

Stella and Ozzie both turned and looked at John and Rj.

Ozzie:"Hay you two, feel any better John".

John:"yes i do feel better after a good jo... talk to Rj".

Ozzie wanted to know what he was about to say, Hammy sped out of the log and went to find his nuts, he can't find ny so he went to the tv area, when he got there he spotted a unknown possum and asks.

Hammy:"who are you".

John:"im John, old friend of Rj and who are you".

Hammy:"im Hammy".

Hammy sped off with nothing else to say, John thought hes to hyperactive, he turned to Rj and said.

John:"Hammy is a bit hypo isnt he".

Rj:"i know, most of the time i dont understand what he is saying".

John:"ok, whats on tv then".

Rj:"where watching the news to see what the humans are up to".

John:"ok then".

John, Stella, Ozzie and Heather sat there watching the news.

back with Hammy hes in the forest trying to find his nut again, as he was coming up to a tree (where John sleep last night) he noticed something strange on the floor, he picked it up and smelt it, he thought the smell was awful so he took it back to the tv area and ask Rj.

Hammy:"what is this".

Rj looked at what Hammy is holding and try to think of what to say but his answer was.

Rj:"i dont know what it is"

Hammy:"is smells awful".

Rj took this thing (rj know what it is but dosent want hammy to know what it is) and smelled it, he exacly what its is but didnt say what it is so he said.

Rj:"i still dont know what this is".

thats when John poped up and went over to Hammy and Rj and asks.

John:"whats going on over here then"

Rj gave john this thing (fag butt) and told him.

Rj:"me and Hammy dont know what this is".

Rj let John this thing and mouthed "just say i dont know" with out hammy seeing so John took this thing and examining it then said.

John:" i havent a clue what this is, sorry".

John walked back to the tv area and watched more of the news, Rj just looked at this thing and flicked it away, both Hammy and Rj shortly followed John, Rj asks John.

Rj:"John, how old are you".

John:"im 26, why".

Rj:"just wanted to know thats all".

John:"ok then Rj".

10 miniutes has gone by, John was getting bord so he got up and went towards the hedge and Rj asks.

Rj:"John".

John:"yes Rj".

Rj:"where you going".

John has to be careful of what to say in front of Stella, Heather, Hammy and Ozzie.

John:"im..im going to get some...drinks, want to join me".

Rj:"yer sure".

Heather poped up and saw John and Rj walking to the hedge and asks.

Heather:"Rj, can i come with you".

both Rj and John looked at each other then at Heather then back to each other, Rj said to John.

Rj:"shall we let Heather come with us".

John nodded, Rj looked at Heather and said.

Rj:"yes you can come with us".

Heather went with Rj and John, when they got to the other side of the hedge Heather asks.

Heather:"John, what are we getting".

John:"we are getting some drinks".

Heather:"are you sure, your shaking".

John:"shall i just tell you the truth".

Heather:"yes".

John:"im actually getting some weed".

Rj just slam his hand on his forehead.

Heather:"oohh, whats weed".

John:"i'll show you when we get there, follow me".

Heather:"ok".

Heather, John and Rj went to a house, there was a cat flap in the back door and all three just jumped through the cat flap, when they where on the other side of the door John went in the kitchen trying not to let the humans see and went to a plastic bag and took all the weed and went back to Rj and Heather, when he got back and show Heather the weed.

John:"heather".

Heather:"yes".

John:"this is what weed looks like".

Heather took the bag and looked inside it and smelt the substance, she thought the smell was a bit funny and asks.

Heather:"how do you use this".

John:"you smoke it".

Heather:"how do you smoke it".

John:"follow me".

Heather followed John and Rj is starting to feel worried, when they got to the other side of the hedge and deep into the forest, when they where deep enough John stopped turned to Heather and said.

John:"you wanted to know to smoke weed".

Heather:"yes".

John:"first i have to make a joint"

John went to his bag and took out a grinder, rizlers and baccy he then took a rizler and some baccy and he put the baccy on the rizler then he got the grinder put some weed in it and started to grind it up, when he is finished he put some grinded up weed in the baccy and rolled it up then when its rolled up he licked the tip and finished rolling the he gave it to Heather and took out a lighter from his bag and gave to Heather as well and said.

John:"put this joint in your mouth light the lighter put the flame at the end of the fag and inhale".

Heather did as John said then she started to cough hard.

John:"wow take nice and slow".

Heather took some small puffs of the joint, when she is finieshed she felt light headed and started to feel sick and tired, Rj asks.

Rj:"Heather, are you ok".

what Heather was thinking to say "yes im ok" but what acturly came out is.

Heather:"my head is spinning".

John:"we should carry her home".

Rj:"thats like a good idea".

both Rj and John carryed Heather back to the tv area, when they got there Ozzie, Hammy and Stella werent there which is good, they put Heather in Rjs chair and she fell straight to sleep, Rj asks John.

Rj:"i never seen her like this".

John:"must been the weed, she must have greened out".

Rj:"ok whats greening out".

John:"if you smoke to much weed you fell light headed and sick, i think that's what shes been through, im surprise this didnt happened to you, weird".

Rj:"i know, weird,(looks at Heather) try to explain this to her father".

John:"why dont we just say that she got exhausted whilst helping us getting some drinks and we carried her here".

2 minuets later Ozzie came in the tv area, took one look at Heather and said.

Ozzie:"oh my god what happened to Heather".

John:"she got exhausted whilst helping me and Rj out getting some so we carried her here".whilst

Ozzie:"is that true Rj".

Rj:"yes its true Ozzie".

Ozzie sat down and watched more tv, the triplets woke up and went to the tv area.

Bucky, Quillo and Spike:"morning".

Rj:"its the afternoon kids".

Bucky:"where we asleep that long then".

Rj:"yes bucky".

John:"he..hello m..my names J..John wh..whats yours".

spike:"Im Spike these are my twin brothers Quillo and Bucky".

Rj notice that John is started to shudder when he spoke to the kids and said.

Rj:"John would you like a talk".

John:"yes please".

Rj took Johns hand and lead him towards the forest, when they got out of ear shot of others and said.

Rj:"John whats wrong".

John:"nothing's wrong why".

Rj:"because you where shuddering when you spoke to those kids".

John:"oohh".

John slowly started to cry.

Rj:"John, dont cry on me here".

John:"i'll try not to".

Rj:"so tell me, whats wrong".

John:"well, its about my son".

Rj:"you had a kid".

John:"yes, his name was Chris and he ran over by a car 2 years ago, he was only 1 years old then".

Rj:"im so sorry".

John:"thanks Rj".

back at the tv area, Ozzie was talking to Lou.

Lou:"so you're telling me that this new fella likes Heather".

Ozzie:"yes".

Lou:"how do you know he likes her"

Ozzie:"because he keeps eyeing her up when ever she goes nere him".

Lou:"whats wrong with that".

Ozzie:"i just dont want to loose Heather".

Lou:"i understand".

Back with Rj and John, both sitting at a base of the tree with joints hanging out of there mouths and thay are chatting to eachother.

John:"can i ask you a question"

Rj:"sure".

John:"are you virgin".

Rj:"yes, why".

John:"just wondering".

John then went to his bag and took out a smell phone (animal size) and scrolled through the context untill he found a perfect number, Rj noticed the phone and asks.

Rj:"who are you texting".

John:"you will find out" he then text saying "hay kim would you like to help my friend loose his virginity" the answer he got was "yer sure" he text back saying "great meet me at the hedge at 2pm tomorrow" "ok", Rj now felling worried of whats going on but he didnt mind, they sat there in silence for 3 minutes and Rj popped up and said.

Rj:"im bord, lets go to log".

John:"let me get my things and we can go".

back at the log lou was watching tv with his wife Penny and there three kids Spike, Bucky and Quillo, Ozzie is wondering of what to say to John, when he looked up he spotted Rj and John and said.

Ozzie:"hey you too, how are you".

John:"im cool".

Rj:"im great".

John then noticed the older looking porcupines so he went over to introduced him self.

John:"Hi im John old friend of Rj".

Lou:"Im Lou this is my wife Penny and these are my kids Spike, Quillo and Bucky".

John:"Hi penny"he turns towards the kids"H...Hi...kids".

Kids:"Hi John".

Lou thought that they must of met earlier and noticed John was speaking funny so he asks.

Lou:"Are you alright".

John:"yer im go...good".

John turned around a walked off towards Rj and Ozzie.

John:"hay Rj hay Ozzie".

both Rj and Ozzie:"hay John".

John:"is Heather ok".

Ozzie:"yer shes ok, shes sleeping".

John:"oh is she, thought shes awake".

Ozzie:"i know, weird".

back at the tv area Verne was talking to Heather (who just woken up).

Verne:"afternoon".

Heather:"how long have i been a sleep".

Verne:"most of the day".

Heather:"oh shit" she whispered to her self.

Verne:"what did you say".

Heather:"oh nothing".

Verne:"oh ok, lets see whats on tv then".

Verne flicked through but there was nothing on, he kept flicking when he hard a familiar noise that he hase'nt hard in a long time.

Verne:"that voice sounds familiar".

Heather:"thats John".

Verne:"John, that name rings a bell".

At that point John came around the corner, he took one look at Verne and ran up screaming.

John:"VERNE (runs up to Verne and hugs him) i havent seen you in years".

Verne:"i know, what have you been up to since i last seen",

Rj and Heather got there mouths wide open.

John:"well i've been to house to house stealing food and we... other stuff".

Vernes tail started to tingal but its a different tingal when he first met Rj he didnt know what it is.

Heather:"what time is it".

Rj checked the time on the tv.

Rj:"its 9:30 Heather".

Heather:"oh better go to sleep then".

Verne:"you havent long woken up".

Heather:"i know but im tired again".

Rj:"me too, John you coming to bed".

John:"no thanks, i need to have some medication (weed) before i go to sleep".

Rj:"ok i'll leave you to it then".

John:"night you too".

both Rj and Heather:"night".

Rj and Heather then went straight to bed, John went to sit under the nearest tree, he went to his bag and took out a 6 inch bong, he then put a bit of green in the very smell bowl looking thing at one end and his mouth on the other end, he lit the lighter then put it where the green is and started to inhale, he held in the smoke for 10 seconds then exhale, he then said to him self.

John:"man, this shit is getting better every time".

then he heard a familiar voice (Ozzie).

Ozzie:"John, its me Ozzie".

John:"yes Ozzie". he replied whilst he is putting the bong in his bag before Ozzie sees it.

Ozzie:"I want to talk to you about something".

John:"go on".

Ozzie:"my wife died not long after Heather was born, i just dont want to loose Heather".

John:"sorry to hear that".

Ozzie:"thanks".

John:"your telling me this why".

Ozzie:"its because every time i come near you i get the felling of disgust in my stomach and what ever you do dont go near daghter".said in anger, then he just turned round and went back to the tv area to go to sleep, john just sat there stunned and confused, he then thought to himself "that man seriously needs some weed", when Ozzie was out of sight he went to his bag pulled out his bong and a couple of tokes and went to sleep.


	3. Rj,s surprise

The following morning,Rj was the first one to wake up, he went to log to have some breakfast, John woke up soon as Rj opened a box of corn flakes so he went up to Rj and said.

John:"good morning Rj".

Rj:"morning John".

John:"whats the plan for today then".

Rj:"first we are going to raid the house that you got your weed and get more food".

John:"how long will that take".

Rj:"only a couple of hours".

John:"hope its done before 2 o clock this afternoon".

Rj:"it will, why you asking".

John:"it's...becouse...there will be a surprise waiting for you". then they chatted for a bit, then one after the other, the rest of the family woke up and had breakfast, hammy was the first one to speak.

Hammy:"when are we going to do this heist".

Rj:"right now".

Hammy:"oh goody".

John:"i can stay here if you want me to".

Rj:"ok John,(turns to his family) ok gang are you ready to go".

all:"ready".

Rj:"ok, lets go". rj and the rest of the family rent through the hedge with the wagon to get food, when they got to the door, hammy went threw the opened window near the door and unlocked it, Rj and the family are now in, Ozzie went to hide near the front door to make sure the humans don't come in, the three triplets went to get the drinks, Penny and Lou went to get the healthy stuff, Hammy got the box of cookies, Stella and Heather helped Rj getting some cereal, they got all stuff that they want and started to head back to hedge but just before they went through the back door , the front door started to open, Rj shouted.

Rj:"everybody hide quick". everyone hide as fast as the could, when the human came in the phone rang and he answered, Ozzie slowly went towards the kitchen and whispered.

Ozzie:"The human is on the phone, if we go now then he wont see us".

Rj:"that's a good idaer".Rj and the family quietly went outside and tipped toad towards the hedge, they had got to the other side of the hedge safe and sound, John notice them and quickly hid his bong and said.

John:"so how did it go".

Rj:"it went very well, what time is it".

John:"its 1:55 in the after noon".

Rj:"good, im not to late for my surprize".

Verne:"what surprize".

Rj:"I dont know but i think its for me".

Verne:"who's giving you this surprize then".

Rj:"John is".Verne suddenly had the strong tingle in tale, he still can't work out what is wrong with him, Ozzie is at the tv area talking to Heather.

Ozzie:"Heather you feeling ok"

Heather:"yes, why".

Ozzie:"its just that you where daydreaming most of the time today".

Heather:"really".

Ozzie:"yes love".

Heather:"please dont call me love, its embarrassing".

Ozzie:"ok sorry"Ozzie then noticed a nice young female raccoon near the hedge, so he went towards her and said.

Ozzie:"hello, whats your name".

Kim:"my names kim,you".

Ozzie:"im Ozzie".

Kim:" Ozzie nice name, know you know Rj the raccoon".

Ozzie:"yes i do, do you want me to get".

Kim:"yes please". Ozzie went over to Rj and said.

Ozzie:"Rj theres someone at the hedge for you".

Rj:"ok".Rj walked towards the hedge and spots the female raccoon, when he got up to her, he said.

Rj:"hello, who are you".

Kim:"im kim,you must be Rj".

Rj:"well...yes i am how did you know".

Kim:"john told me, now let me give you your surprize, follow me".she took Rjs hand and went towards the forest, about 10 minutes after walking she stoped turned towards Rj and said.

Kim:"are you ready for your surprize".

Rj:"yep". Kim slowly walked towards Rj and then planted a big kiss on Rjs lips, Rj didnt know what to, then he relized the he is starting to injoying the surprize he got,Kim then broke the kiss and started to nibble his neck, Rj moaned and his mcweener is starting to erect to full size, Kim slowly went down to his footlong and started to suck it, Rjs moan is getting louder and louder then he started to feel somthing that he nether felt before down stairs and all of the sudden white goo shot out at the end of his shalong, Rj moaned as quit as he could, Kim got up saying.

Kim:"we are not finished yet".

Rj just looked at her with a "you must be joking" face, Kim push Rj to the floor and got on top of him, Rjs shalong is still fully uploaded and Kim pushed it into her damp cave, she the started to move her hips up and down slowly at first the started to speed up,all Rj could say was "this feels good" then the second shot has come out and he moaned as loud as he could, now Rj is exhausted, Kim got off of him and said.

Kim:"do you like your surprize".

Rj:"yes".

Kim:"that's good, if you want more just ask John". she then gave him a cheeky smile and walked away leaving Rj on his own.

back at the log John is talking to Ozzie.

Ozzie:"Rj's surprize was... a meal".

John:"yes".

Ozzie:"then why did i just heard him scream then".

John:" first the starter (the kissing) the the main course (the sucking) then the pudding (the humping) and the scream must be when... he ... bit his tough".

Ozzie:"must be a good meal then". when Ozzie was finished Rj came around the corner breathing heavily, Ozzie was the first to noticed and ask.

Ozzie:"you ok Rj".

Rj:"yes why".

Ozzie:"because your sweating like mad".

Rj:"that must be the surprize".

Ozzie:"ok what did you have". Rj looked at him confused then he looked at John, John mouthed "i told him it was a meal".

Rj:"oh i had salad for the starter, A roast beef for the mean course and a ice cream sunday for pudding". he lied

Ozzie:"no wonder you screamed".

Rj:"eerr yes it teast so good i had to scream". he lied

Ozzie:"you look like you some sleep".

Rj:"good idea". Rj went to the tv area to have some sleep, Ozzie turned to John and said.

Ozzie:" wow that must be a good meal".

John:"yep, Ozzie".

Ozzie:"yes".

John:"can speak to you privately".

Ozzie:"yer sure".

John took Ozzie into the forest, 30 minutes later John stopped and turned to Ozzie and said.

John:"im sorry for me to ask but what is your wifes name". Ozzie just looked at the ground for moment to think the looked at John.

Ozzie:"my wifes name is lisa".

John:"lisa, nice name".

Ozzie:"yes it is".

John:"can you describe what she looks like".

Ozzie:"sure, she is my hight, she had wight dots on top of her ears like Heather's, she had nice blue eyes, she had a cute smile and she soft fluffy fur".

John:"she sounds pretty".

Ozzie:"she is".John then pulled out his phone, Ozzie noticed the device so he asks.

Ozzie:"what is that".

John:"its a phone and im just checking the time".

Ozzie:"ok". John looked at the phone to check the time then he noticed his background its a female possum that he liked in the past (he still likes her now she dosent know) the he relized that the possum on the background is the same possum that Ozzie had discribed, he looked at Ozzie and said.

John:"ok i gave Rj a surprize, do you want me to give you a surprize".

Ozzie:"yes please".

John:"ok". he started to text lisa saying"hay lisa where are you" "im on the branch near the hedge" "ok do you still remember where the log is" "yes" "ok meet me there tomorrow, Ill text you when you can come" "ok" then John looked at Ozzie and said.

John:"your surprize will be at the log tomorrow ok".

Ozzie:"that sounds good to me". both of them slowly walk towards the logs telling each other jokes (Ozzie still gets the disgust felling).

John:"have you heard of the voodoo dick".

Ozzie:"no tell me".

John:"ok, a husband is going away for a week to do his job but he is worried about his wife cheating on him so he went to a sex shop and ask the worker "have you got a nice good dildo for my wife" so the worker got out a simple dildo and said "will this do" the husband then said" no that wont do, is there any better ones" the worker grabbed a box and said" this will do" the husband said" what is it" "its a voodoo dick" "show me how this works" (John is doing all the people's voices in the joke) so the worker the said"voodoo dick key lock" then the voodoo dick got out of its box and went to the key lock and started to pondering the key lock, the husband said"good how do i stop" "easy, voodoo dick box" the voodoo dick stopped then went back to the box and stopped, the husband said"i'll take it" so the husband took the voodoo dick and took it home to show his wife, when he got in he went to his bedroom where his wife is and said "i got you a presant" "oh what is it" "pull down your trousers, lay on the bed and i'll show you" he put the box on the floor and said" voodoo dick pussy" the voodoo dick got out of its box and started to pounder the wifes pussy but the husband was in a rush to tell her how to stop it, four orgasms later the wife is getting sore so she put on her trousers on and went in the car with the voodoo dick still going, she was swerving every time she came, the cops pulled her over and said"would you like to tell me why you are driving fast" "its this voodoo dick and i cant stop it" "voodoo dick my ass".

Ozzie was thinking about it then he got it, he laughed so hard that he didnt noticed that everybody at the tv area was looking at him, John tried to calm him down.

John:"Ozzie calm down".

Ozzie:"im trying". he then laughed even more, 3 minutes later Ozzie finely calmed down and went to the tv area,Heather pulled him to one side and asks him.

Heather:"have you got anymore of that... stuff". she whispered.

John:"weed".

Heather:"yes".

John:"yes i do, follow me". John took Heather's hand and went towards the woods, Ozzie spotted them both walking off so he followed them trying not to be spotted by them both, 2 minutes later that stopped and Ozzie hide behind a tree to see what they are doing. John looked around to if theres anyone came (Ozzie hide just in time)then he looked at the and gave her a joint, he got him self out one two, they both stood there smoking some weed and Ozzie was shocked and confused at the same time, Ozzie slowly crept back but stepped on twig, both John and Heather turned towards the noise John was the first to speak.

John:"who's there".Ozzie then slowly came out, John was trying to think of what to say, Ozzie now angry said.

Ozzie:"what are you doing to my daughter".

John:"its not what it looks like".

Ozzie:"it is what it looks you FUCKER".Ozzie then clenched his fist and went for a punch, John quickly hold up his hand and stopped the punch then said.

John:"take a drag".

Ozzie:"NO".

John:"take a drag now bitch".

Ozzie:"dont you dear swear in front daughter".

John:"just take a fucking drag of this fucking joint now".Ozzie had no choice but to take a drag, he took the joint from John and inhaled, Ozzie now feeling relaxed and dizzy.

John:"do you feel relaxed now".

Ozzie:"yes and a little bit dizzy aswell".

John:"ok do you want to go back yet".

Ozzie:"yes".

John:"ok come on Heather". John, Heather and Ozzie went back, the first thing Ozzie did when he got to the tv area is went to sleep same with Heather, Rj spotted them both passed out at the tv area looked at John and asks him.

Rj:"did you gave them both a joint".

John:"Heather was bursting to have a joint and Ozzie was getting angry".

Rj:"oh really".

John:"yep, what time is it".

Rj:"its 9 o clock".

John:"ok".

Rj:"im going to bed with the rest of the guys, you coming".

John:"yes (yawns)im getting tired my self".thay both then went to bed.


End file.
